I love language and words. when I was young, I genuinely used to read the dictionary. Not in any sort of order, mind; rather, I’d flick to random pages and find words I’d never seen before, in a poor attempt to be top of the class with my wide vocabulary. It never worked. I remained, and still remain, rather average. Still, nowadays, you see new words being added to the dictionary left, right, and centre. ‘Peng'(?!). ‘Bumfuzzle’. ‘Whatevs’. ‘Simples’. Even ‘LOL’ has made it into the Oxford English dictionary. Obviously, with the onslaught of Covid-19, and the worldwide panic it’s caused, a few words have stuck, and are bound to make it into the dictionary.
Here you’ll find a brief, yet hopefully humourous display of my favourite English and Dutch words that have come into existance since January 2020. Will any of them be added to the dictionary? Only time will tell. Let’s go.
I’m not sure whether it was a blown out of proportion joke, but I believe that day drinking is on the rise in the midst of the Corona Crisis. Each to their own I say. If you fancy cracking the bubbly open at 2pm on a Wednesday because you’ve got nothing better to do, or you’re simply mourning your freedom, I salute you. Just maybe grab a glass of water for every alcoholic beverage you sink.
Making oneself a ‘quarantini’ is a quaint way of telling everyone you’re getting smashed before 5pm. It doesn’t always involve a Martini but damn it blows away those cobwebs.
It’s called being home alone and horny.
I’ve heard that dating apps are BOOMING since the beginning of the epidemic. Now I’m no prude, but I’m not sure it’s the best idea to invite someone you’ve never met over during a pandemic just to quell those urges. What if you catch something MORE ghastly than gonorrhea (I’m talking about the Rona itself, although I’ve had neither so technically who am I to judge which is worse?).
Good news Tinder users though, because apparently you’ll soon be able to video call your new paramour from the safety of your own home to check on any suspicious coughing or sneezing fits before you invite them over.
Plain and simple really. Just someone who doesn’t follow lockdown rules and runs amock without a care in the world.
I guess this one should be added to Quarny. It’s the suspected name given to the new generation of Corona-conceived babies. Lord help us, and them.
Stuck in a relationship that’s going nowhere (thanks Corona!). Apparently there’s a new trend of dumping your boyfriend or girlfriend over Zoom call.
Less heartless than a simple ‘U R DUMPD. SRY’ text that us 90’s kids had to endure through the early 2000s, I actually reckon you’ve got to have balls of steel to invite your other half into a face-to-face phone call on a platform that was originally created for the sole purpose of holding business meetings from afar and having to look them in the eye and tell them its over.
Where ya off to on yer ‘ols this year Karen? Gardinia?
A coronacation is the simple act of spending your holiday (or ‘vacation’) time very much not on holiday, and rather, trapped in the confines of your own home or garden. We’re all mourning the loss of one destination or another, so why not laugh until we cry? It beats simply crying.
Quarantine and Chill
Forget the age old Netflix and chill, now there’s no strings attached, unless it’s string cheese that is, because Quarantine and Chill is the act of… chilling in Quarantine.
With Netflix party being created for this very pandemic, feel free to still take part in a half-arsed Netflix and Chill gathering (it’s half-arsed because there’s no touching), grab yourself a Quarantini, and feel free to do absolutely nothing for the remainder of the day. What else is there even to do anymore?
Literally ‘hamstering’, the Dutch coined this phrase for the outburst of toilet paper hoarders. It’s also applicable to anyone hoarding too much of anything. Just like a cheeky little hamster with their chubby cheeks full of everything ‘hamsteren’ ain’t a compliment.
Literally translated to ‘skin hunger’, no, this actually is not in fact the zombie apocolypse we were all kinda hoping for, but the dire need to have skin on skin contact with another human being, caused by 1.5 metre afstand, and quarantine measurements.
It’s simple really. Literally translated to ‘cough shame’, hoestschaamte is that incredible shame one feels when they swallow a crumb or their own saliva wrong. I know you’ve all felt it and tried to hold in a completely innocent cough for fear of being shanked in the local supermarket, and the Dutch, as per usual, tell it as it is.
The Dutch version of a Covidiot. It means something like ‘Corona Jerk’, or a variant of, and you’ll probably be called this when you’re deep in hoestschaamte.
You’ve got to understand that the Dutch are using words like Covidiot too, so whilst their side of the slang may be lacking (for now), just know that they have plenty of ways of calling anyone who dares leave the safety of their own home out.
There’s my short and simple list of Corona slang to help you get through the global pandemic. Have I missed any words out? Do you have any of your own? Let me know down below.
Until next time, stay safe, and don’t be a Covidiot.