I\u2019m here for\nFriesland, I really am. I\u2019m gonna rep this bad boy up until it gets the credit\nit deserves, because it\u2019s mega up here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everyone has been to\nAmsterdam. It\u2019s one of the most popular weekend destinations in Europe. Whether\nthat\u2019s down to its openness about drugs and sex remains to be seen, and it\ncould most definitely be the grotesquely beautiful buildings lining the canals that\nare drawing droves of people day in day out. However, that\u2019s not exactly the\nreal Netherlands, in my very meaningless opinion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For starters, the use\nof Dutch in Amsterdam is incredibly low, whereas up here, I\u2019ll have you know I\u2019m\nfighting a battle that includes two languages. Furthermore, I don\u2019t know about\nyou but the crowds really get to me. I need a bit of space, and a few old timey\nwindmills thrown into the mix to really feel it. There are hundreds of towns\nand cities that are as beautiful (if not more so) than Amsterdam, that barely\nget a look in (but that\u2019s something for a completely different blogpost).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A lot of foreigners think that Dutch people only eat fried food<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I mean, you\u2019re kind of\nright; Dutch borrelhapjes (delicious little snacks alongside a beer) can be\ndescribed mostly with the words \u2018beige\u2019 and \u2018deep-fried\u2019, but be that as it may,\nbitterballen are one of the most delicious snacks I\u2019ve ever wrapped my lips\naround.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They don\u2019t only <\/em>eat fried foods though, and this is\nwhere I feel supremely lucky, because I get to eat Dutch delicacies such as\nstamppot (mashed vegetables with smoked sausage or a giant meatball), which is\none of my favourite dishes ever, because my boyfriend\u2019s mother is classed as a\n\u2018feeder\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One thing that I won\u2019t\nbe trying any time soon is Haring. That\u2019s just a raw herring that you dangle in\nfront of your own face and, in the words of Baldrick in Blackadder Goes Forth,\n\u201cscoff it right down\u201d. I\u2019m not a fan of sushi in the first place, so clamping\nmy fingers around an almost whole fish covered in a few onions makes me feel\nslightly nauseous, even if it does have a charming little Dutch flag attached\nto a cocktail stick sticking out of its back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Things that were simple back in England have become much less so\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Simple tasks have\ninduced brain farts multiple times for me since moving abroad. Have you ever\nbeen to the hairdressers without knowing the word for layers or texture or a\nfringe and had to wait in agony to see whether the hairdresser has, in fact,\nruined your life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you ever been to\nthe doctors and revised what you have to say so much that you forgot to revise\nwhat possible answers might come shooting back your way? Yes, it\u2019s all well and\ngood to be able to tell your doctor that your tonsils feel like golf balls and\nyou can\u2019t swallow for shit, but what\u2019s she saying back to you right now? What\u2019s\nthe remedy? You don\u2019t know because you forgot that part of the practice!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you ever heard\nthe doorbell go at 7pm when you\u2019re home alone and the only thing you\u2019re worried\nabout is will I be able to understand\nthis human being the other side of the glass? <\/em>I mean, sure it beats the\nthought that you might be murdered by the dark figure the other side of the\nglass, but I\u2019m pretty sure that my heart would beat just as fast for either\neventuality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The only stroopwafels you should be buying are fresh, hot and from the street. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n To be honest, this\napplies to both stroopwafels or your choice of\u2026 delicacy\u2026 when wandering around\nDe Wallen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Yeah alright, the\ntinned ones are fine if you\u2019re taking them home for aunt Mildred, but for the\nbest results, head to a street vendor at a market. They\u2019ll be the size of your\nhead, and you\u2019ll think you want to share, but don\u2019t do that. Just bask in that\ngooey warm hug until you feel sick, and then, and only then, will you know the\ntrue beauty of the stroopwafel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The words \u2018cut\u2019 and \u2018whore\u2019 have completely new meanings in Dutch<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I was shocked when I first\nheard someone yell \u201cJa hoor\u201d at another person. I was stood on a Dutch street,\nand I thought: that\u2019s kinda rude, but\nmaybe she deserves it, who am I to judge? <\/em>It was only later when someone\ndirected the word at me, in casual conversation, no less, that I really thought\nsomething was wrong with Dutch culture. I mean it\u2019s bad enough that people from\nStoke call each other \u201cDuck\u201d, but this was taking it too far. Actually, \u201choor\u201d,\npronounced exactly like the English \u201cwhore\u201d is kind of just a filler. You just\nthrow it into a sentence to make it seem a bit friendlier (ionically to me). If\nyou want to go ahead and insult someone with the English version of the word,\nin Dutch that one\u2019s said \u201choo-er\u201d. Ja hoor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One word that I wasn\u2019t\nprepared for though, was cut. Or \u201ckut\u201d. The K really makes it harsh, and to be\nhonest I should\u2019ve known it was bad news. Pronounced k-uh-t (really spit that \u2018k\u2019\nout and then follow it with a short \u2018uh\u2019 and throw a \u2018t\u2019 on the end), this\nbeauty is the equivalent of the Brits \u2018see you next Tuesday\u2019, which usually I\nwouldn\u2019t be afraid to type, but audiences differ so. However, the Dutch will\nuse it willy-nilly \u2013 especially between the ages of 13 and 18. They use this\nword to really get across their feelings for, well, basically anything\nactually, whether that be the weather, their homework, or that girl you\u2019re sat\nnext to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To end<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I hope you weren\u2019t\ninterested in learning the intricacies of expat life, because if you were, I\u2019m\nsure you\u2019re sorely disappointed right now. These were mere tit-bits of what I\u2019ve\nfound to be a funny part of life abroad. It\u2019s a fantastic ride, thanks for\nreading along. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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